Set Yourself Up to Succeed This Season!

By Wendy Phelps

Win Win Workplace Consultant

I noticed this weekend that Halloween candy is now readily available: a sure sign that Halloween, followed seemingly immediately by Thanksgiving and the other holidays, are on their way! Where did summer go?

I can't help but think of the various "to do's" that come with the changing seasons. There are the house "to do's," the family "to do's," the work "to do's," the shopping "to do's," the upholding tradition "to do's," and the trying to meet everyone's needs "to do's"! I don't know about you, but I am tired just thinking about all of the "to do's."

So this year, I have decided to approach this season with a new frame of mind courtesy of four books I recently read (below) -- all on the subject of our need to experience both activity and rest.

Why is this vital concept not taught in school? Why is it that we typically have to get to the point of sheer exhaustion or illness before realizing that nothing in nature is created to go, go, go without taking time to renew itself. And although we sometimes forget, we are undeniably part of nature.

I have found that often the difference between taking on one more thing and saying no is simply preparation. If you have some simple phrases ready to go, you can quickly assess the situation at hand and make a decision that will support your best (and most sane!) self. Here are some examples:

• Before I can determine whether or not I can take that on, can you tell me a little more about what would be involved?

• Here is what I can do …

• I would really like to spend some time with you. Given my schedule, can the two of us meet for lunch, coffee, or a walk instead of [insert activity you aren't interested in attending or able to participate in]?

• This year I am trying something new: Instead of doing "x," I will be doing "y" (E.g., instead of scrambling to write a newsletter for Christmas, I am going to give myself more time and send one out for Valentine's Day instead).

These phrases have allowed me to streamline the activity of my life so that the people and things I do commit to, I can commit to fully. I am no longer dragging my exhausted self around town from activity to activity, not really being present at any of them. This has been quite a shift!

And it is a shift that requires courage. Changes like these can sometimes be unwelcome by the people in our lives who are used to our being their "go to" people for certain things. Yet what I found is that over time, those who have your best interests in mind make the shift with you, and those who don't -- well, let's just say it is important to surround yourself with people who do have your best interests at heart.

Although I am still just testing these new habits, and I am eager to apply them to the season ahead, they have already provided me with a new sense of freedom around how I schedule myself. Instead of being at the mercy of what everyone else needs or wants me to do, I have taken control of my own schedule.

A catchall phrase that has really assisted me is "My weekend/day/evening is as full as I will let it be." Sometimes, this actually means that I have nothing scheduled; but I need it that way given what I just experienced and what I have coming up the week ahead.

I had a supervisor who was masterful at looking at her calendar in seasonal chunks and building in "rest stops" for herself. She often scheduled one three-day weekend a month or added a day to any single holiday the company provided, to extend her downtime and have these built-in renewal days to look forward to.

Not all of us have generous paid-vacation plans; but all of us can carve some time out of each day, week, month, and season to renew ourselves.

It can be as small and simple as taking five minutes to read an uplifting passage in a favorite book or as elaborate as planning a tropical getaway. But however we do it, we need to build in renewal times for ourselves so that we have the fuel needed to do the things we want to do and to be fully present while we are doing them.

With the holidays just around the corner, the timing is perfect to set your intentions for this season, determine how busy you want to be, build in opportunities for renewal, and start practicing some of the phrases above.

Here's to creating a life that works for you!

Recommended Reading:

• Sabbath: Finding Rest, Renewal, and Delight in Our Busy Lives by Wayne Muller

• The Dip: A Little Book That Teaches You When to Quit (and When to Stick) by Seth Godin

• The Book of No: 250 Ways to Say It -- and Mean It by Susan Newman, Ph.D.

• The 4-Hour Workweek: Escape 9-5, Live Anywhere, and Join the New Rich by Timothy Ferriss

Wendy Phelps blends her backgrounds in business, education, and spirituality to help people be and do their best. She is an affiliate consultant for Win Win Workplace Solutions and owns her own coaching and consulting company, More is Available.