July 2008
Conflict in the Workplace
By Rick Kiel
True Priorities
As the CEO or owner of a business, you face growing demands on your time, energy, and creativity, while never forgetting that your top priority is to keep your organization focused on its strategic plan and the future of the business. Your team is also stretched and challenged: to continuously improve the quality of your product or service, respond to accelerating change, and learn new skills. The last thing you need is a distraction like an interpersonal conflict or interdepartmental rivalry.
Got Conflict?
"My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me." -- Benjamin Disraeli
Conflict is natural in human interactions; and with increasing stress and strain, more conflict is inevitable. In our increasingly complex workplace, the ability to effectively address and resolve workplace conflict is more important than ever before.
Fortunately, conflict management is a skill that can be learned and developed. By increasing your ability to identify and effectively address conflict, you are building an important leadership competency and strengthening your organization's capacity to respond and succeed in today's business climate.
Spotting Conflict
Where should leaders look for conflict, and what are some signs of ineffective conflict resolution? Here are some places to look:
- Disagreements over numbers or data
- Opposing ideas and opinions between individuals
- Power struggles over turf, resources, recognition, etc.
- Conflicts of gender, race, or age (While beneficial overall, gains in diversity in the workplace also bring the potential for increased conflict.)
Ineffective Approaches to Conflict
Some leaders avoid conflict, often hoping that by "waiting it out" the problem will resolve on its own, or somehow everyone will work it out and "just get along." Other leaders get upset or take the conflict personally, which gets in the way of resolution. Still others do not see conflict coming, and their organizations lapse repeatedly into destructive conflict. Some leaders go too far and end up being overly aggressive: driving for a solution before others are ready, or inappropriately getting in the middle of other people's problems. So now that we have some sense of how not to approach conflict, what are potential solutions?
Absorb and Deflect
"When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen." -- Ernest Hemingway
Oftentimes the best way to manage conflict is to diffuse it at the beginning. Say a colleague starts a discussion very strong -- with a lot of energy and emotion and what feels like an attack. If you give your colleague the chance to vent his or her frustration, be heard, and think out loud, a potential conflict may lose its force. The trick is to stay calm, absorb the energy of the initial confrontation, and not react immediately -- which would run the risk of escalation. Some reactions that you can practice include listening, taking notes, and asking clarifying questions. Here are some effective measures to absorb or deflect conflicts:
- Ask open-ended questions like, "What do you think can be done?" and "What would you like to see from me in this situation?"
- Restate what you have heard, to make sure that you understand what they are saying and that they know they are being heard.
- Ask about the principles behind their issue.
- Talk through the implications of their position and what they want.
If you start by asking questions rather than by making statements, you have a better opportunity to begin a constructive dialogue. Once dialogue begins, you have a good chance to find creative solutions to the conflict.
Whittle the Conflict Down
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not one bit simpler." -- Albert Einstein
In almost every conflict, there are some areas of agreement. The goal is to cut the conflict down to size and make the problem as manageable as possible. When a conflict is developing, first get the issues presented and understood fully by all concerned. Next, in our experience, we grab a flip chart and write down the areas that can be agreed upon. Consider common goals, priorities, and problems. Then write down the "open" areas. Define the conflict as concretely as possible. Avoid generalizations such as "You don't respect me" or "Your department is out for themselves"; a specifically defined circumstance is easier to address than broad generalizations or vague concerns. Describe the concerns in detail using examples wherever possible. By narrowing your focus to the core issues you have a better chance of a clear-cut resolution.
Build Cooperative Relationships
"My parents only had one argument in forty-five years. It lasted forty-three years." -- Cathy Ladman
Conflict-management ability can be developed over time with new patterns and habits of behavior. One approach to this increased effectiveness is learning to cooperate better. The first step is simple, yet profound: Show your respect for the other person.
Other specific actions include concentrating on and striving for equity, finding wins for both sides, and focusing on the issues and interests of both parties rather than on their personalities. These skills are like many other developmental opportunities in that a commitment to change, willingness to practice, and tolerance for feeling uncomfortable are all needed for improvement. For big changes, an outside coach or a neutral facilitator can be invaluable.
Getting to Win-Win
When leading your organization forward, conflict will occur. Conflict is a healthy sign that significant change is happening. Our aim is to help you manage conflicts with "win-win" outcomes, so that you can achieve your goals while building an increasingly effective organization.